Joint Personal Log - Lt Rotek, RAdm Waterhouse & Capt Diziara - "If We Could Just Change One Thing"

Posted on Thu Aug 7th, 2014 @ 4:08am by Commander Amelia Waterhouse & Lieutenant Commander Rotek

1,096 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: In the Dark

The replicator pattern that Corey had offered up had been five cheese tortellini with a mushroom tomato sauce, with a side of garden salad, and garlic bread. A bottle of real earth wine had been offered to accompany, and there was small talk about current events, their jobs, and such as they ate. Diziara had talked Rotek's ear off about test flying fighters when conversation came around to what she did, and Corey had smiled sympathetically when efforts to derail his wife's overly technical description of flight and flying fighters in particular had failed.

"Kitten," Corey said softly, laying a hand on hers. She blinked and looked at him. "You can tear my apart later for my failures in the current design, we have a guest."

"Sorry," she directed at Rotek, "Dinner time is usually when I give Corey reports on his designs after I've been flying them most of the day. What do you do with your free time?"

Rotek, having quietly enjoyed the meal, along without the smallest sips of wine, replied "I like to read, participate in holonovels, and explore my Klingon side's past."

"What do you usually read?" Corey asked, with a glance at the empty bookcase on one wall. He and Diziara had left a modest personal library behind when they'd had to quickly leave Utopia Planitia.

Rotek replied with a nod. "I usually read 20th century science fiction, and fantasy novels. I find it interesting to see how they viewed the world around them and the potential future they were moving towards. What type of literature do you usually enjoy sir?"

"A good era for sci-fi, I prefer the more humorous end myself... Douglas Adams in particular is a favorite. Have you read The Guide?" He reclined back in his chair, twirling his wine glass.

"You're making me want to try to make a pan galactic gargle blaster again," Diziara directed at Corey with a grin.

Nodding politely, Rotek replied. "I have sir. The film version of the first book doesn't do it justice however."

"Belgium!" Diziara insisted with a grin, gesturing with her wine glass. "It makes as much sense as any of it, which is to say complete sense and none at all."

"Calm down, kitten," Corey teased, and she bit her thumb at him with a wink. "I enjoyed it for what it was, though if someone a stickler for canon, which the guide wasn't particularly known for even within itself, I could see some of their objections."

Sighing very slightly, somewhat uncomfortable, Rotek replied. "Thank you both very much for your hospitality by the way. I know it was a bit of an imposition."

Both Corey and Diziara went suddenly serious at Rotek's reaction, exchanging a look.

"Did we do something to make you uncomfortable?" Corey asked.

Sighing, Rotek replied quietly. "No, please don't think that. I just have a lot of... personal struggles I am dealing with right now, and I am not being the best guest. It's a bit hard for me to focus at the moment. Forgive me."

"Times are rough right now, is there anything we can do?" Corey asked, a soft frown crossing his face.

Shaking his head, he said, "I don't think so sir. I appreciate the offer however. I am trying to get my mind off of everything, but when I try to do that, it makes it worse."

"Have you tried talking about it?" Diziara suggested.

Not being able to look at them in fear that he would embarrass himself, he stood and walked to the window. Sighing, he replied quietly, "I'm sorry sirs, but it is very difficult for me to do so. I'm not sure it would be appropriate to share such personal information with superior officers."

"We're not even in your chain of command," Diziara muttered amazed. Corey laid a hand on hers.

"I wouldn't dream of suggesting you speak with us about it if it makes you uncomfortable," Corey insisted, "But have you had the chance to seek a counselor?"

Still staring out the window, he replied, "I haven't yet sir. To be honest I've had a hard time bringing myself to speak to a counselor about various topics. The Klingon side of me feels it is a sign of weakness, but the human side of me knows it may help. Does that make any sense?"

"Fuck your Klingon side," Diziara said, though her tone was even and otherwise polite, "I don't know how your childhood was, but mine was a cluster fuck, after my mother moved me and my brothers back to Qo'noS, because of my Klingon side."

Slightly shocked by her outburst he replied "I will take your ... direct suggestion under advisement. I'm not sure counselors would express it so bluntly."

Corey laughed nervously, and gave his wife a look. She crossed her arms and slouched in her chair. "I'm not going to apologize. He's probably been berated for not being Klingon enough more frequently than he can count, like I was, and continuing to try to be more Klingon only means they win. You'll never be Klingon enough for them, even if you fight better, drink better, speak the language better, know the history... It doesn't matter to them, so why waste your time? The best way to win is to just be yourself. Don't let them tell you what's right and wrong. Do what you need to, to be comfortable with yourself."

"I'm sorry," Corey insisted, standing from the table. "If you'd like me to help you find your quarters, we can leave the arm chair psychologist here." He looked at Diziara and cleared his throat, provoking a sigh and an eye roll from her.

Nodding, unsure of what to say to Diziara's ...advice, he stood, and slipped his duffel over his shoulder. Turning to her he said, "It was a pleasure to meet you Captain. I look forward to seeing you again around the station." Then to Corey he said, "Yes sir, an escort to my quarters would be great. I think I need to rest and try to relax."

"Best of luck on the Vindicator, Lieutenant," she returned with a polite smile.

"Rest and relaxation sounds good. Which section did you say you were in?" Corey asked as he walked to the door.

Smiling very slightly, he consulted the padd in the pocket of his duffel "Section 5 room 56 sir."

=/\= END LOG =/\=

Lieutenant Rotek
Chief Medical Officer
USS Vindicator

Rear Admiral Corey Waterhouse
Head of Fighter Design Team
In Transition

Captain Diziara
Fighter Test Pilot
In Transition

 

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