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JL | Lt Shran, Lt Dai'xun | "Pillow Talk" pt 1/2

Posted on 241803.12 @ 15:09 by Lieutenant Anaxar Shran & Lieutenant Si'a Dai'xun
Edited on on 241803.12 @ 19:31

Mission: Lacuna

The night had been magic, sweeping a child of the stars away from quickly decaying worry. It had given her a chance to soar without wings, openly loved by a man who danced with the sureness and grace of a bird riding the sea breeze. Anaxar had been proud, regal, beautiful in the way he held himself with such certainty. Each gentle touch, guiding her, had given Si’a further reason to glow.

And glow she had… and did.

It wasn’t quite dark, but there certainly wasn’t light. His quarters were bathed in hushed hues of dusk and blue. The only illumination offered by the dim celestial glow of stars smattered across her nearly bare skin, shimmering as their mistress breathed and moved. In the light, the golden gown, encrusted in jewels and held on across her upper arms by strings, tipped in fabric stars, had seemed solid. It hadn’t given even the littlest sigh of a hint of what lay beneath, but there in the dark it did little to shroud the galaxy beneath. She glistened, really, twinkling with every delicate little step she took. Traversing her lover’s quarters towards where she could see him sitting, resting, waiting for her at that late (or early) hour, Si’a could do nothing more much thing of him. His touches. The whispers. His lips against her neck and temple. Even beneath costumes she’d have known him anywhere, and still she obliged him his little game of intrigue until that very second…

While she certainly didn’t share his height, Si’a matched Anaxar step for step with crane like elegance. She floated where so many creatures plodded, slowly cutting down the distance between them. She shivered at the feeling of her gossamer gown and the soft swish of her sea-shimmer curls breathed across the backs of her legs and buttocks, “I missed you,” Si’a trilled her greeting to him with a demure little smile. Let him keep his mystery, let her play along still entranced by the magic of the Masque. Allowing her fingers to smooth through the satin snow of his hair and down along his jaw, she reassured both of them that the still lived and breathed. That she was still so very much his. The star slid along the long bank of his thighs, straddling them as she glided into place and wrapped her arms around her lover’s shoulders, her head tucking beneath his jaw as she held him to her. Even sitting there, still as could be, Si’a was convinced she was flying.

"And I've missed you…"

The nights had ceased to be long and lonely after that first hesitant nightly visit. Since then, she hadn't come every night, but often enough for him to wait expectantly, alert for her unmistakable footsteps and the soft sigh of an opening door.

This night had been magical, an especially bright star amidst the firmament of memories Si'a elicited. Anaxar remembered that time, not long after he arrived on the Vindicator, when he had gone to the observation deck to try to see the stars. He remembered how he'd broken down when he realized he could no longer see them. And how the Commodore had found him in his most vulnerable state…

It had been only a few months ago, but already it seemed to be another lifetime. There had been two fault lines which defined his life. The first one, obviously, the accident which left him permanently blind and scarred, both inside and out. The second one had begun with a single touch, but the actual breaking point was defined by ribbons binding them together. He could still feel their ghost touch around his wrist. The first one had almost killed him. The second one had brought him back to life.

He reached out and touched her, his hands caressed her cloudlike gown, his long fingers played with the stars which trailed down and with the stars entwined in her hair. He was the cold of space against which her bright star shone, the dark to her light. As always, he relaxed in her embrace, rested his head against her torso…

His antennae twitched. There seemed to be, at the threshold of hearing/sensing, an unusual sound, something extra, something which he'd never noticed before. But then Si'a touched his antennae, sending a shiver through him which he could feel all the way down to his toes, and the odd sensation was, for now, forgotten.

So soft. The skin of his antennae was soft as silk and surprisingly warm for such thin appendages. Si'a didn't dare do more that allow the briefest of feathery touches, skirting along the length of one and then the other. To her it was sacred ground, a mark of highest acceptance of him, all of him, for his differences and his likenesses all in one. It was proof that she loved him for him right down to the scars that marred his beautiful face. Those she traced two, feeling the landscape of them as she weathered his brow line and cheeks. "Sometimes I think I can't love you anymore than I already do or else I'll explode," she murmured to him, coaxing her fingers along his jaw, "and then I'm proven so very wrong." Each accented word fell like stars from lips that curved into a warm, serene smile, "I fell in love with you all over again tonight." Like her words, her fingers paused in their journey, "Like every night, really." Her shrug was gentle. The openness between them was still so very new, but so very cherished all the same. It didn't do much to stop the cold pang of fear that came with such brutal honesty; the feeling that sudden, heart wrenching rejection was waiting right around the corner, but still the star-child forged ahead. He had to know. Had every right to know.

Anaxar ran his fingers lightly across Si'a's slender frame, over her face, her neck and shoulders and further down. Already he knew that even when the implants were repaired, he'd still keep them mostly turned off during those nightly visits. Not only because of the necessity to give the optic centre its much needed rest, but also because he had come to love this, 'seeing' Si'a in the dark, with every sense but his eyes.

Ever since that first night, which had taken on a dreamlike, almost mythical sheen in his memories, he had silently repeated the words he'd whispered to her then: "…I give you my life, my love, my heart. For now, for every day ahead, for ever." It was not to remind himself of his love for her that he did this, it was to remind himself that she loved him as much as he loved her, to assure himself when he was alone in his quarters in the dark that he wasn't really alone, not any more, that there really was one person who saw beauty where he saw ruins, who took him and made him whole. And now he whispered those words again, aloud so that she could hear them. The future was full of promise…

"I chose you." Her words were a sigh, "When the Empress asked that I go home... I chose you." Her confession came as his hands coasted along her skin and the contours of her body hugged by her celestial costume. The fabric was too much, though beautiful, it kept her from him and the warmth she knew he'd radiate deep into the fibers of her soul. She'd never said it before, never admitted it or told him that she'd forsaken the traditions of her people for the chance to love him, but she had, "That night... The first time... When I gave myself to you." Si'a sighed, burrowing her nose in the softness of his hair, planting a kiss against his head, "I'd been considering it, but when she asked... I knew I couldn't leave you." And she wouldn't. Ever.

There was a long silence while Anaxar digested this. In that silence, again, he thought he heard that extra sound, but again its meaning was drowned. This time by the statement Si'a just made, the few words which were almost completely inadequate for the meaning they carried. The implications slowly sank in, one by one. The Empress of the Stenellian Ascendancy had asked Si'a to come home. Such a request was, of course, a more politely formed order. And Si'a had chosen to disobey it? A direct order? For him, for them, for… "Ohh…" he sighed. For the life of him he couldn't find anything more intelligent to say.

Or would she.

His silence burned, setting smolder to the delicate lines of trust and confidence she'd built as anchor points. He sighed, that simple monosyllabic word, and Si'a felt her little world begin to fall to pieces. She'd misread him, his desires, his intentions. Her fingers stilled somewhere along his collarbone and her lips rose from the soft warmth of his hair. "I'm... I'm sorry." Si'a stammered, slowly disentangling herself from him as the red hot heat of embarrassment began to prickle along her entire self, "I mean... I thought... I... Ah..." Each word was becoming more and more of a whimper as the little star tried to navigate through the floof of tulle and tafetta and silk and whatever else made up the gauzy gown she was tied into. A heel clad foot caught in the billows and made her knee bend and catch more fabric as she tried to dismount Anaxar's lap and beat a hasty retreat back to her own quarters, the result was Si'a more or less falling into the cushion of his bed with an embarrassed little 'oof' and a flurry of glitter following her path and hanging in the air around her. Sliding her other leg over his thighs was paramount, though done gingerly, and all at once she was free but... Not. Not free. Hurt. Sad. Panicked. Still tangled in the layers of light airy cloth that held her captive and conspired to keep her put beside him; half on and half off the bed with threat of sliding to the floor beside his feet. The shine of her dimmed. How stupid she'd been.

"No, no, please, no," Anaxar whispered, too startled by her sudden flurry of activity to prevent her initial withdrawal. He caught her now, before she could fall off the bed. "Why should you be sorry?" Now words began to flow, but clumsily, disjointed and broken. "Do you regret it? This? I... please... I never want to hurt you, but I don't want to force you, either... I..." And here all the old uncertainties came back, the ones he thought had disappeared forever: did she choose to stay with him out of pity, not out of love? Had he the right to force her to stay, to keep her from her culture and from her heritage? No, of course not. One man couldn't possibly outweigh all that.

But she'd said that she loved him. That she couldn't possibly love him more. He had to believe that, he wanted to believe it, because the alternative was too bleak. But if he had to believe her, on the basis of her words, her actions, how easy were his own words, his own actions discarded, in the light of one misunderstood word. "What do I have to do to prove myself?" The words came out in a whisper, but the cry came from the bottom of his soul.

To Be Continued...

Lieutenant Anaxar Shran
Chief Science Officer

Lieutenant Si'a Dai'xun
Stellar Cartographer


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