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CSciO Lt Anaxar Shran | "To Be Or Not To B..."

Posted on 241803.13 @ 06:18 by Lieutenant Anaxar Shran

Mission: Lacuna
Location: USS Vindicator, Science Bay
Timeline: SD 241803.13

The next day Anaxar sat in his office, with the door closed for once. Normally he liked to keep it open, so that he could hear the activity in the main science bay. People talking and discussing things, maybe an argument or two, bleeping consoles, footsteps, maybe someone playing some quiet music near his or her station. All the sounds which told him how work was progressing, how people were feeling, which kept him connected to them even when he wasn't actually there.

This morning, though, instead of feeling the connection, he needed to be alone. If only because all the activity of the day and night before had left him with a pounding headache. Not quite a migraine, but close to it, too close to comfort. The painkillers he'd taken thus far only dulled the pain, but did not suppress it completely. At least here there were few other sounds to add to the pressure.

Yes, last evening had been exciting. A masked ball was not something he'd ever experienced before and for him, it had provided both extra challenges and extra possibilities. He had known for most people who was hiding under which mask long before the masks came off. On the other hand, it would have been nice if he could have actually seen the masks and costumes. He had seen, some, in the scant time allowed to him before he had to shut off the barely functioning implant again, but he knew that the electronic images were a scant substitute for the real thing. But it had been lovely to dance with the radiant star in his arms, all the rest fell by the wayside.

No, for him, the really interesting part had been what happened after. The conversation he'd had with Si'a had been so much deeper than before. They had not only shared their hopes and dreams, like they'd done before, but for the first time they had actually shared their deepest vulnerabilities and fears. No, that wasn't quite right. Tey had shared more of that before, but then their fears had been so much more immediate and direct: each feared that the other would die, down there in that cell, and there was a certain irony in the fact that each would gladly die, if only that would mean the other would be safe.

Anaxar sighed. Last night had been a breakthrough, and an affirmation of their mutual love. But they couldn't keep on going with the purely nighttime relation, they needed to have another talk, another deep one about their plans for the future, and how that would fit in with other realities such as their work. For one thing, he was still head of the department where Si'a worked, too. Would he have to switch? Would she? What kind of switch? Would one of them, or both, have to leave the ship altogether? That very thought made his heart ache even worse than his head already did. And another thought. Formalising their relationship? Craig had bonded them, yes, but he had also been the first to point out it was not a legal bond, or marriage. Would Si'a want it? If so, how? Would she need to ask permission from her Empress? He had no idea how it worked.

And then, and then… There was this, this thing which kept nagging at his subconscious. Only after several hours of thinking about everything and nothing did the coin drop and cross the threshold into awareness.

There had been that extra sound. Very very soft, at the utter edge of hearing range, he had sensed it more than anything else. A very swift, rapid pulsating sound. Kind of like a heartbeat but sped up, and very faint.

Anaxar became very, very still when the realisation sank in that there was only one logical explanation for that. Unless Stenellis suddenly grew extra hearts in dire situations, there was one more common explanation as to why women displayed a double heartbeat at times.

He jumped up and began to pace, antennae twitching. Now he remembered the last thought he'd had last night, just before falling asleep: Could it? Could it be-? Upon waking up this morning, that lone thought had sank beneath the waves. But here it was again, jumping up and down and waving its little arms to attract his attention.

He had never thought that two races, living so far apart in the galaxy, could actually- On the other hand, they were physically quite compatible, as the previous nights had proven more than once. But, even so…

Could it be, was it even remotely possible, that Si'a was pregnant?

Abruptly, all strength left his legs and he collapsed back into his chair. His head was suddenly too full, with too many thoughts and emotions all vying for his attention. He didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, insofar as he could ever cry without eyes or tear ducts.

If it were true, if, if, very very very big if. He was going to be a father.

Lt Anaxar Shran
Chief Science Officer
USS Vindicator


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