Joint Log | Capt Ivanova - Cmdr Dahe'el - "You Make Me Feel Like I Am Home Again"
Posted on Mon Aug 18th, 2014 @ 8:10pm by Admiral Rochelle Ivanova
2,923 words; about a 15 minute read
Mission: In the Dark
=/\= Ivanova's Quarters, USS Vindicator =/\=
Waking from his dormant state, Almar opened his eyes as his heart-rate began climbing back up. He'd never truly slept but put himself into a state where he felt rested. The rimpled sheets of the bed still covered the majority of the slumbering Captain beside him, her red hair cascading over his shoulder and chest.
From his vantage point, it appeared that all was well in the redhead's world - she appeared in a complete state of Elysium, at peace with whatever had kept her from sleeping before, the Cardassian's indomitable presence seemed to sooth her to the core. The verdure of their relationship was proving to be good for him too. He'd felt reinvigorated since it had begun and the past night had just pushed him further into that state of being, perhaps in augury of a possible future ahead for them both.
The fire of her emblazoned the Cardassian's chest as she lay just below the gossamer veil of sleep -- the sound of his heart rate quickening, becoming stronger, slowly caught her in an updraft towards consciousness. The sound was a comfort -- a small wonder in and of itself as it became steadier and steadier -- calling to the young Captain's senses and begging her to open her eyes. She didn't disappoint.
Rochelle's eyes were dark with sleep, smoldering liquid cobalt in bold contrast against the bronze of her lashes and porcelain of her skin as they opened to take in her surroundings, to begin to dissect the situation -- and she remembered. She'd asked him to stay and he had, lending to her his chest as a pillow and his comfort as a blanket, remaining with her the entire length of the night. Peering up at him, she stifled a yawn in favor of a smile, not yet ready to break away from the safety of the cocoon of warmth she rested in so easily. "Good morning." She murmured, through the half-lights replicating early dawn.
His hand found the locks of her hair that covered her face and gently moved them away, a smile crossed his face and his voice echoed it, reaching all corners of the room, not through volume but with the reverberating bass that came naturally in his post-slumber state, "It would seem that you slept quite comfortably."
The woman's eyes closed as he brushed her hair away from her face, revealing it to the coolness of her bedroom. "Better than I have in years." She replied, re-opening her eyes and feeling the rumble of his voice against her cheek as it reverberated through his chest.
"Then my presence was well thought out," the Cardassian replied as he shifted slightly and his voice finished leveling out, he flattened down his hair with his free hand and pulled her closer with the one that lay around her neck and back.
"It was." Rochelle agreed, a hand coming to rest against the broadness of his chest as he tugged her tighter to him. The hand offered stability as she shifted her body for greater comfort, allowing her body to contour against him, hugging the lines he created. The sensation was a fresh reminder of how long she'd spent in self designated isolation. It was also, however, a reminder of how much was at stake and how devious the lull in the storm could be. The fear of loss tingled along her spine, reminding her to rebuild walls, reminding her about the ice that rested poised to re-take her heart.
"I have a feeling that there may be more to this than just a friendship," the Cardassian replied rather frankly with a smile fixed to his face, "It is not every day that a friend invites you into their bed, or that a friend accepts such an invitation."
The woman closed her eyes again as his words washed over her, a tingle of excitement built somewhere deep in her belly -- but dread ran bitter through her veins. Almar... Her sweet, loyal, beautiful Almar. The one who had risked the Vindicator to save her, the one who conquered the demons of the night to bring her peace, the one who stood against the minds of those who would kill him simply for the texture of his skin -- she couldn't let him fall victim to whatever curse followed her like a dark cloud. "I can't hurt you, Almar." She whispered against his chest, her voice nearly soft enough to go without being heard, "I can't let them take you too. It would kill me." The cold swept over her, curling it's fingers around her tender throat and began to tug away at the slivers of faith that had tried so desperately to take hold.
More than anything, Rochelle wished she could trust love, trust hope, trust the tender buds of emotions that slowly began to recycle themselves within her. She wanted to shed the fear that held her captive, the fear of loss -- of losing someone so precious again. Still, a voice deep down, begged for her to reach for him, to hold him tight to her -- and she did. Her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, pressing her body closer to his even bringing a leg to hook with his as she searched for quarter against the coming tide of worry and retribution she knew was coming.
"You won't hurt me," Almar replied softly as he cradled Rochelle against his side, feeling the beat of her heart racing he could feel the meaning behind her words, he could feel the rushing worry that flooded through her and the conflict in both her heart and her head, "I am going nowhere and I intend to remain by your side, as I said before, I would always come for you, I would move heaven and earth to bring you back."
"That's what scares me." The woman replied, her voice diminutive and wrought with an emotion she couldn't quite describe. Landon had charged through the storm as the embodiment of some unnamed archangel, wielding impressive power as he dispatched the cave dwellers that held her captive. That very act had been the catalyst that heralded his end. Almar himself had risked the lives of an entire ship, bringing the massive beast into the atmosphere of that frozen planet. For what? A woman?
It didn't matter that she'd have done it for them. All of it and more. "Your life isn't worth mine. It's so much more precious."
"To you perhaps," Almar replied with a slight smile as he placed a gentle kiss against the top of her head, "To me, your life is the one that is worth more to me and I will do everything I can to safeguard it."
Rochelle peered up at him, his words and the lightness of his affections warming the cockles of her frigid little heart. There was something about him, the stubbornness, the way he held himself and refused to back away from a challenge or fight. It infuriated her and yet... It soothed her. He brought with him the promise of safety and stability - something that Rochelle had never had, outside of the stability of her job and position, and he'd already made it known what he thought of being solely devoted to the uniform. Damn him.
Untangling her body from the warm cocoon he'd created for her, and the stability of his arms, she pushed herself up and in one fluid motion swung her leg over his and rested her weight on his thighs. The blankets hissed as they fell away from her, allowing her to lean forward and wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, her nose resting against the crook of his neck when she tucked her head in for the embrace. "I can't, Almar." Her voice rasped, though her heart, soul and body all screamed differently, "I need to protect you from my own stupidity. I'm bad luck." She added, bringing her hands to his chest and using them as leverage to push herself back up, perching there and finally eye level with the tall Cardassian.
Almar ran his hands softly up her back and held her close, fighting off the uncertainly that gripped her heart and caused the great internal conflict he could hear in her voice, his deep eyes met hers with a conviction in the what he was saying, an unyielding belief in what he could and what he would do for her, "Rochelle, there is nothing that we cannot face together, you say you are back luck, well we'll see about that," he replied, punctuating the last phrase with a smile.
The sensation of his hands sliding up her back sent shivers running down her spine -- awakening something that had lay peacefully dormant for nearly half a decade. She cursed it, bidding it to depart and leave her be, allowing her to settle back into the innocuous existence of solitude she'd chosen for herself. Landon had come on the coat tails of her successful departure from all things related to love, had excited her, rekindled her with a wild explosive reaction between them. She could soothe it, allow it to fade away in time, but Almar... Almar was a slow, sultry burn. He refused to be extinguish and instead worked steadily to ignite the fire in her core.
He'd succeeded with his touch, though she'd never admit it even though it was evident with goosebumps down her arm giving her away. "You don't listen very well." She chided, lifting a hand to cup his chin even though she was hardly in a position to negotiate with the stubborn man whose lap she sat astride. The mental image of their nearness would have made her wince if only she had been using the tactical side of her brain. Relaxed, warm it refused to awaken not seeing a need for war or games.
"I've said it before, you should know this by now, from the first time you realized how stubborn I can be," the Cardassian replied with a light chuckle as the touch of her hand on his chin sent a spark down his spine and caused him to stiffen slightly, the smile still fixed on his lips.
Her eyes rolled, "You have. I can't say I haven't been warned." She sighed, offering him a small smile, letting her hand slide along his pewter dusted skin to his stroke his cheek. "No matter what I say or do, you're going to do what you want anyway, aren't you?" She asked, her thumb stilling against the warmth of his face.
"Pretty much," Almar replied simply, his arms still wrapped around her and keeping her safe, "Out there, order me about all you like, Captain's prerogative," he continued, his eyes never leaving hers as her touch made the smile on his lips wider, "But in private, I am my own man, I will decide what I want to do and how I got about it, even if it means frustrating you by not listening."
"You don't even listen to me out there half the time." Rochelle scoffed, tugging her balancing hand from his chest to push a feral lock of hair from her face, tucking it back behind her ear. Sleep had freed her normally pin-straight locks, allowing them to breathe and have body, allowing them to embrace their natural waves and curves as they hung unfettered about her shoulders and down her back. She was alive, she was young and he challenged her along with everything she stood for and thought she wanted for herself. A slow burn indeed. Lifting herself onto her knees, she slid closer to his face, releasing her touch from his face in favor of resting both hands on her own thighs, hunching over slightly to be nearly nose to nose with him, "Tell me, Cardassian, what is it that you want to do and just how do you plan going about it?" It was her turn.
"Well," Almar started, the pause was for effect and allowed him the chance to look thoughtful for a moment, "Normally after a period of rest, I like to get breakfast, but there seems to be a redhead in my lap and I am loathe to remove her because... well, she seems to want to be there." the Cardassian responded as he placed his hands onto hers, "And who am I to argue with her?"
"It's warm here." She countered with a shrug, suddenly so very aware of how wildly inappropriate her chosen seat truly was. She was the Captain. She was in mourning. She couldn't let her stalwart protector be burnt by the absurdity that seemed to hang on her coat tails. It all swirled wildly in her head, her heart trying it's damnedest to banish each and every thought as it struggled to surface from the ice Notura had left behind. Pushing against the latest round of panic, she leaned forward kissing him between his eyes, just south of where his forehead presented his telltale Cardassian imprint. At least here she was safe. And then she had her perfect out, "You're an amazing friend, Almar." and she took it, even though it gutted her.
"I think we're well past friends, Rochelle," the Cardassian replied as he placed a hand softly on her cheek and guided her face back to his, their lips met gently and sparks began to fly.
Her lips had begun to part in protest, determined to follow the path she had come to begin to set in stone -- walling him off and keeping him at arm's length no matter what her petulant demanded -- when his hand found the silk of her cheek. The touch startled her back into silence, the tenderness of it making it all the more easy for her to yield to the gentle pressure he exerted. And then? Fireworks. For the second time in less than twelve hours she found herself being kissed. For the second time in under twelve hours she found herself returning a kiss. For the first time in many years Rochelle savored the action, her long lashes closing over her eyes as she allowed herself to become snared in the trap the Cardassian had set. The initial kiss was tentative, a request, a choice -- and she made it, deepening the contact as her heart began to race. "You never listen." She breathed, her lips still brushing his when they parted. Her eyes eyes refused to open, afraid it was nothing more than a dream, and her arms came to drape around his broad shoulders, holding him.
Almar was surprised at how much passion had been put into the second stage of the kiss, once she had made up her mind, Rochelle had taken command and had taken him somewhere he had not been before. The initial gamble was his and as far as he was concerned, he'd made the right choice as their faces hovered mere millimeters apart, the warmth of her breath filled him and the taste of her lips refused to leave him, "I'm only as stubborn as you are."
"Maybe more so." She replied, surprised by her own tenacity as she felt the warmth of his words against her pouty mouth. The heat of him in general threatened to burn her, to consume her and she tried, albeit in vain, to back away. Try and try again, she failed and left herself with nothing more than a shiver and lips that tingled from the charge of meeting his. It was wrong, the entire act and situation -- but it was also so very right. "What are we doing, Almar?" She asked, her voice low, husky, quietly begging for some sort of guidance as she tried to piece the puzzle of herself back together.
"What feels right," the Cardassian replied as he gave her another quick kiss, he looked up into her eyes when they broke apart again and a smile formed on his lips, "It feels right,"
Rochelle's eyes fluttered open when his lips left hers again, quickly finding the darkness of his. "Does it?" She asked, her tongue running along her lower lip as if trying to soothe the burn. Of course it felt right, she chided herself, but her mind refused to release her from doubts and second guesses demanding that she pull away from him and order him away, demand he be transferred if only to save him from her unsettling course through life. Her fingers traveled along the back of his neck, toying with the hair at his hairline while,
"It does," Almar replied, his arms wrapping around Rochelle, he slid down the bed and pulled her down to lie with him again in a slightly more comfortable position.
"Someday," she started, moving to slide from sitting astride him to laying beside him comfortably once again, "I'll understand what I've done to earn your affections." Rochelle rested her chin where his shoulder met his chest, using such a vantage point to watch his expressions. The morning had become a whirlwind, and she had slowly come to the realization that fighting against it would only lead to suffering.
----
Captain Rochelle Ivanova
Commanding Officer
USS VINDICATOR
Commander Almar Dahe'el
Chief Engineering Officer
USS Vindicator.
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