PL | MCPO Rik Caine | "Right On The Inside, That Is The Hardest, The Hardest Game To Play"

Posted on Mon Feb 16th, 2015 @ 2:26am by Master Chief Petty Officer Rik Caine

1,703 words; about a 9 minute read

Mission: A Spot To Kill

"It had been eleven hours since my shift officially ended and only two more to go before the next one begins. More time had passed since dinner with Amelia. Amelia; the redheaded dame who was making me dizzy each and every time I laid eyes on her. Amelia; trouble with a capital T and I liked it. I'd pulled awake in my chair with a start as the song changed to a ditty with a faster beat. A soulful canary with platinum pipes. My neck was as stiff as the drink I'd washed the ration pack down with six hours ago. Didn’t have it in me that night to get proper food in the mess. Mind was still racing like a dog round a track. Mind was transfixed on the story I had spun over the Orion hooch before she'd made me forget who I was and what I'd been chinning about; dame sure had talent. Now though it's replaying in my mind like a scene from a horror film you want to forget.

I can still remember that night like it was only yesterday. It's engrained on my mind like etchings in stone. It was the darkest night I can ever recall; more than just shadows being cast causing it. Evil was in the air like the cold wind nipping at the house. Mother was downstairs, watching television or reading. Not sure. Dad was with me and my baby sister telling us a story; putting us to bed. I don’t remember that story anymore… god I wish I remembered the story.

That’s when it happened; that’s when evil knocked and like an axe through wood the door splintered and fell apart with a crash as loud as trees falling. What happened next was hazy at best; chaotic. There was a thunderclap; two more. My sister screamed; for one so small she sure made one helluva noise. Not enough to the raise dead. Would never be enough. Dad moved quicker than I thought he could. Hid me and my sister in the wardrobe and locked the door. Told us to stay quiet; stay hidden. Stick together. Last words he ever told me. Baby sister clung to me that night; fearful about what was going on beneath our feet. Had to cover her mouth to stifle the cries. Couldn’t be found. Had to stay hidden. Another thunderclap. One this time. One was all it took for the eerie quiet to wash over the house of death as the grim reaper came-a knocking. Minutes felt like days. Too much time for a kid to think. Two lives were lost that night to protect two more. They thought it was a fair trade I suppose; I didn’t.

When the door to the wardrobe was finally opened and the light crept in to the hidden world we'd created I had half expected to be reunited upstairs with the folks. I shielded my sister's eyes. She didn’t need to see; didn’t need to see the ruby red flow. She'd see mother soon enough I had told myself. Family would be reunited. No thunderclaps. I allowed myself to open one eye at a time, taking it slow like a baby learning to walk. It was a round faced man with a circular frame and thinning hair. Dad's friend from Starfleet Security. They'd got here quick. Or had it been that long? Time had no meaning. I remember he had a big heart; probably in more ways than one. Was the ordeal over? What was the outcome? Only ten and I was asking so many questions in my head. Dad's detective games paying off even at that age. There'd be no more games now. Would have to grow up quick.

We got rushed outside; straight past the front room. I knew I shouldn’t have looked, but the inquisitive mind within took hold and controlled me like some kind of puppet. I knew the answers but stole a peak against my better judgement. In a brief glimpse I stared right into the pit of hell. Mother and father laying together, a million eyes surrounding them. Some recoiled in horror when they spotted me. Door shut.

Stillness. Sickness. I was overwhelmed and I wanted to scream my lungs out, I wanted to kill whichever damn hood had jammed the roscoe at my folks and pulled the trigger bumping them off without fear of consequence. There would be consequence. Like a bolt from the hand of God himself I will have vengeance. The feelings mutated inside me, twisting and turning creeping through my entire body like ivy on a fence. I wanted to cry a river of tears and shout and scream and run. Had to stay strong for her; couldn’t let her know all the rules to the game were changing and we were playing without a rulebook. I tensed up on the front step, shivering not from the cold but the sickness and horror that consumed me. I remember how dark it was; how still and silent it seemed despite the noise of the law examining my shattered home. We were tainted now. I looked to my baby sister; she seemed ok. I wrapped my arm around her. Told her it was just us; we were goin' on a trip. We'd be ok. She'd be ok. I made a vow that cold, dark night.

…

I failed her; just like I failed my folks."

A silence filled the office like water filling a tank as Rik Caine sat in his chair twirling the stylus to his mini-PADD between his fingers like a seasoned drummer. His mind firmly transfixed on the past; his past. The computer made a small chirping sound to remind Rik the channel was still open with the log system bringing him back to reality just enough to continue.

"Amelia had held my hand throughout; occasionally squeezing to let me know she was there. She was sorry. She cared. After I was done there was a silence in the room. What do you say to something like that? She didn’t need to say a thing. She leaned in closer, held me. Simple action said more than all the words in all the languages in the entire universe. Dame was special. I haven't told her yet. About the guilt; the murder board. My own investigation that compromises ethics and rules and god-knows what else. I will. In time. How do you tell someone you're hunting the dogs that did this unspeakable thing with one sole aim. To kill them yourself."

A sharp pang of guilt hit Rik as he spoke those last four words. It had been the first time he'd ever said that out loud. Ever admitted to himself what he'd been plotting and dreaming of for all these years as he chased leads and breadcrumbs all over the quadrant. Was he? Could he? He mulled on that question for a moment. If he had the hood in front of him that had murdered his parents, caused his sister's downfall and disappearance, could he look them in the eye and pull the trigger. A small voice in the back of his immediately and without hesitation said yes.

There it was again, the pang of guilt. If he killed whoever it was - he'd be no better. It was an easy way out. It wasn’t justice it was revenge. Every principle entrenched into the very core of his being was under question. Sure; he'd pulled a trigger before and seen the light leave someone's eyes but that was different. That was to protect others or was in self-defence. That was different. Was it? The small voice echoed.

"I'm not sure I could. I would want to. I've wanted to since I was ten years old. Look the damn hood in the eyes; roscoe jammed against their button and squeeze the trigger just enough to end their miserable, no-good, life and see the light fade away. They stole two lives, destroyed one and nearly broke another that night. They don’t deserve to live."

The guilt of his words hit him like an ocean wave crashing against the shore and he sighed heavily.

"Could you?"

[[Please re-state the question]] the computer chirped without emotion or feeling.

Rik chuckled a little and shook his head.

"Maybe that's how I know I'm not like them. I pulled myself back from the brink and can walk the line between good and evil. Is there even such a thing? Is morality even that simple? I don't know anymore. I honestly thought it was black and white and yet… this question seems to exist only in the grey area of what I'm willing to do. While there's a voice that tells me I should end them there's a stronger voice reminding me of who I am. What I stand for. What I believe in. What I've spent so long striving to become. Better. Would it take a stronger man to look them in the eye and haul them in to rot? Can I be that man? I think I have to be. If I can do that. If I can pull myself up at the end of it all; wherever this road goes and look myself in the eye and say it's ok. It's all ok. Then it will be. I will be. I don’t know what I will do when that day comes. I hope it's the right thing and I think I can live with that for now."

He paused and stood from his chair pulling on his duty jacket and fastening it up before running his hands through his hair ready to go back on duty and do what he did best; crack open cases and restore justice.

"Computer… delete personal log"

The computer chirped with compliance as he headed out the darkened room and into the bright corridor beyond. The doors slid shut and locked; Rik Caine's day had begun.

=/\= End Log =/\=

Master Chief Petty Officer Rik Caine
Security Investigator/Chief of the Boat
USS Vindicator, NCC-78213-E

 

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